after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ketchup is God's man juice
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
