in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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