There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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