You made me cry and you don't even care
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
