Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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