Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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