Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
