he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
