You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
