I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
