whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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