why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize