Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
