Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
