I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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