Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just invented taco cereal.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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