im drinking this country out of the recession.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
