It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
