I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
