Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
