he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
