I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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