this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
