we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
