so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
me + whiskey = a bad person
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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