There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
