why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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