I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
