Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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