Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
