You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
