she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
