Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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