She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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