Having a random hookup so left but love u
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
