There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize