she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
