i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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