i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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