its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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