Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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