god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
