Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
