Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
