god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
