i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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