i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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