If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
