i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
