I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
