Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
