the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
