sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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