TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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