But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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