you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
