I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
