When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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