Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
