boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
