Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
