Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
