Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
