Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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