I want to have your abortion
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize