question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
