This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
