3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
