During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
